I am heartbroken.
The other day I was served with papers: X is suing me for full custody of K. I am not heartbroken because I’m afraid I’ll lose. In all honesty, I’m not afraid I’ll lose at all; I am more than confidant that the law is on my side. No, I am heartbroken that someone could hate me so much that they would be willing to hurt my baby in order to get back at me. Because at this point, that’s all it is: getting back at me. And even if he did succeed, he would not just be hurting me… he would be hurting the one person who is innocent in all of this: K.
In her entire life, he has seen and been with her for a very short time. In fact, if you condense it down, he has been with her 2, maybe 3 months of her entire life. Now, I know a large portion of that is not his fault, as he was deployed for the first eight months of her life, but after he got home he had every opportunity to see her. He had every opportunity to get to know her. Even until August 17th, 2012, he had free reign to take her with him and love on her and care for her. Since then, I have begged him countless times, even going to his apartment one at least two occasions to do so, to come and see his daughter and get to know her. And yet, the number of times he has seen her since August I can count on one hand; before that he barely paid her any attention when he did have her. He cannot truthfully say I have denied him contact with our daughter, because I have begged him to come and see her, and I have begged him to tell me what to change on the agreement so he would sign it and he could take her again (which, once he finally told me, I did). And yet, he somehow blames me for the fact that she does not know him and does not like him when he comes to visit.
She knows mommy. I want her to know her father (like I said, I have begged for it to be so!), but she does not. She knows mommy. She knows that mommy loves her and takes care of her and makes sure that her needs are met. She does not know her father. And yet he would rip her from the home that she knows???
Does he know her routine?? Does he know what she does and does not like to eat? Or what kind of music she likes to listen to? Does he know that she likes to sit at the piano with you and listen to you play, or that she loves to hit the keys and see what different sounds they make?? Does he know that, in the morning, she loves to cuddle with you and her blankie for five to ten minutes? Does he have the time to do that for her??
Does he know what kind of sippy cups she likes, or how to qualm an oncoming temper tantrum with kind words and hugs?? Does he know how fiercely independent she wants to be, and how to help her without causing her to lose that feeling of independence? Does he know which moods are the ‘hugs and kisses’ moods and which moods are the ‘chase me around the house’ moods? Does he know which moods are the ‘let me figure it out by myself’ moods??
Does he know her bedtime routine?? Does he know that, after a song, prayer, hugs, and kisses, that she likes to point to her nose, her mouth, her eyes, her ears, her belly button? Or that she likes to do the same to you while naming each one, before she finally has to say good night?? Does he have the time or patience to do any of that???
I do. Her entire life, that is what I have done. Her every need has been met by me. Her tears have all been wiped away by me. Her bad dreams chased away because I have run into her room in the middle of the night to hold her. Every cough, every sneeze, every runny nose has been cared for by her mommy. When I leave, even for just a few minutes, she cries. When I come back, she wears the biggest grin I have ever seen. Tearing her away from me – a perfectly fit and loving mother – would break her heart.
I love my daughter with all of my heart, and I am a good mother. In front of God, a judge, and whatever witnesses, I will prove exactly that. I will never say that her father cannot see her (I have been begging him to do exactly that for months!), but I will not stand down; I will prove that she belongs with me, in my home.
I tried, and tried, and tried to negotiate joint custody with him. Lord knows I did the best I could. I was still offering it by the time the divorce was through; I said as much while he was on the phone w/me (I assume in front of his command) and while he was here with his escort. I have said it here on my blog, as far as I can remember. Now I guess the chips will land where they may. I will put my faith in God, as well as in the law. I guess we’ll see what happens next.
The other day I was served with papers: X is suing me for full custody of K. I am not heartbroken because I’m afraid I’ll lose. In all honesty, I’m not afraid I’ll lose at all; I am more than confidant that the law is on my side. No, I am heartbroken that someone could hate me so much that they would be willing to hurt my baby in order to get back at me. Because at this point, that’s all it is: getting back at me. And even if he did succeed, he would not just be hurting me… he would be hurting the one person who is innocent in all of this: K.
In her entire life, he has seen and been with her for a very short time. In fact, if you condense it down, he has been with her 2, maybe 3 months of her entire life. Now, I know a large portion of that is not his fault, as he was deployed for the first eight months of her life, but after he got home he had every opportunity to see her. He had every opportunity to get to know her. Even until August 17th, 2012, he had free reign to take her with him and love on her and care for her. Since then, I have begged him countless times, even going to his apartment one at least two occasions to do so, to come and see his daughter and get to know her. And yet, the number of times he has seen her since August I can count on one hand; before that he barely paid her any attention when he did have her. He cannot truthfully say I have denied him contact with our daughter, because I have begged him to come and see her, and I have begged him to tell me what to change on the agreement so he would sign it and he could take her again (which, once he finally told me, I did). And yet, he somehow blames me for the fact that she does not know him and does not like him when he comes to visit.
She knows mommy. I want her to know her father (like I said, I have begged for it to be so!), but she does not. She knows mommy. She knows that mommy loves her and takes care of her and makes sure that her needs are met. She does not know her father. And yet he would rip her from the home that she knows???
Does he know her routine?? Does he know what she does and does not like to eat? Or what kind of music she likes to listen to? Does he know that she likes to sit at the piano with you and listen to you play, or that she loves to hit the keys and see what different sounds they make?? Does he know that, in the morning, she loves to cuddle with you and her blankie for five to ten minutes? Does he have the time to do that for her??
Does he know what kind of sippy cups she likes, or how to qualm an oncoming temper tantrum with kind words and hugs?? Does he know how fiercely independent she wants to be, and how to help her without causing her to lose that feeling of independence? Does he know which moods are the ‘hugs and kisses’ moods and which moods are the ‘chase me around the house’ moods? Does he know which moods are the ‘let me figure it out by myself’ moods??
Does he know her bedtime routine?? Does he know that, after a song, prayer, hugs, and kisses, that she likes to point to her nose, her mouth, her eyes, her ears, her belly button? Or that she likes to do the same to you while naming each one, before she finally has to say good night?? Does he have the time or patience to do any of that???
I do. Her entire life, that is what I have done. Her every need has been met by me. Her tears have all been wiped away by me. Her bad dreams chased away because I have run into her room in the middle of the night to hold her. Every cough, every sneeze, every runny nose has been cared for by her mommy. When I leave, even for just a few minutes, she cries. When I come back, she wears the biggest grin I have ever seen. Tearing her away from me – a perfectly fit and loving mother – would break her heart.
I love my daughter with all of my heart, and I am a good mother. In front of God, a judge, and whatever witnesses, I will prove exactly that. I will never say that her father cannot see her (I have been begging him to do exactly that for months!), but I will not stand down; I will prove that she belongs with me, in my home.
I tried, and tried, and tried to negotiate joint custody with him. Lord knows I did the best I could. I was still offering it by the time the divorce was through; I said as much while he was on the phone w/me (I assume in front of his command) and while he was here with his escort. I have said it here on my blog, as far as I can remember. Now I guess the chips will land where they may. I will put my faith in God, as well as in the law. I guess we’ll see what happens next.
