To You

I know that I was wrong

I know I don't know

I know that in naivete

I hurt and shattered you

I cannot scarcely fathom

The pain, the hurt I caused

The scars upon your heart

That I inflicted with my vows

I never meant to hurt you

But still I know I did

And no number of “I'm sorry”s

Could replace history's bid

But I do not regret it

And not for why you'd think

(Truly I'd do most anything

To pull you from that brink)

No, in spite of all the pain

I wish I could relieve,

When I look back upon those days

I don't regret. I do not grieve.

For I needed those moments,

I needed that stain.

I needed to feel that guilt

I needed that pain

I needed to feel them,

Then needed to move on

To look myself right in the eye…

Until that guilt was gone.

And truthfully, I can't say

That I am there just yet

For guilt does not eas’ly let go

And shame does not forget

But there is something greater than

the shame that shades this face;

I know when I forgive myself

I'll have accepted Grace

For you didn't deserve it

Any more than He -

That man who died upon that cross

To Save both You and Me

I'm not asking forgiveness

Nor asking to forget

I'm not asking you to move on

If you're not ready yet

But what I'm trying to say is,

If nothing else is true:

Just as I strive to love myself

I'll keep on loving you.