Home

...is wonderful.

Seriously, I have never been this happy.  I've been happy, but even my happiest days before do not touch the past few months.

I have gone from depressed and feeling utterly unwanted, to elated and excited and just... home.

My love... is amazing.  He is perfect (he will be known as R here).  He is everything I have ever wanted, and then so much more.  More than that, he is everything I never dared to hope for.  If, heaven forbid, anything were ever to happen to "us", he would be "that one".  You know, the one you compare everyone you meet to.

Daily, I find myself wondering how on earth I could deserve such a love.

This is what fairy tales are made of.

This is the stuff they write about in romance novels.

Love at first sight - before that really - in such a strong, sweeping way that it encompasses all that I could ever hope to be.

I'm not dependent on him - far from it!  I'm better with him.  My fears and anxieties have all but disappeared.  My ambitions are back tenfold.  My creativity is blooming.  My goals for life, for my family, just keep getting better and better.

And the children... My goodness, he is so great with them.  They just adore him.  He listens to K, truly listens to her (which, if you have a four year old, can be very hard to do after the first fifteen minutes or so haha), and lets her express herself and honestly tries to understand where she's coming from.  He's taught her how to play Minecraft and they'll spend hours playing it together, and he's talking about building her a computer for her fifth birthday O.o (I reminded him that she'll only be 5, to which he replied rather briskly, "In today's day in age, if you're not ahead of the curve you're already behind! She's getting a computer!" hahaha)

He adores GT, and he adores R.  They have such fun playing together.  And GT gets rather jealous when R plays with his brother or sister instead of him (of course, K gets the same way haha).

And J... It melts my heart to watch them.  He loves to just sit and hold him, play with him, make him smile and giggle.  I'm still rather jealous, because he got his first real smile -_-  And laugh.  And was also the first to see him roll over. Seriously, what's up with that?? haha.

I... I'm just so happy.  There are no words to express my joy, my sense of peace and home.  That's the best way to describe it.

No one, save my children, has ever filled my heart to this extent.  I pray to God daily that He will keep my little family safe.  I don't know what I would do if I were to lose this.

If you read this, my love, I adore you.  I pray that we never change, except for the better. <3