Very
recently I was contacted by a man from my past.
I’ve never spoken about him here before, but suffice it to say that this
was someone who used to make my heart beat a little faster when I saw his
name. I haven’t heard from him in quite
a while, and I was more than a little surprised when his email cropped up in my
inbox. But to my …not surprise, because
I’m not really surprised… rather, it was a new experience seeing his name and feeling….
nothing.
I
wasn’t excited. My heart didn’t skip a
beat. I didn’t even feel nervous as I
opened it, read the two-word email, and then took my phone to show R. In that moment, I didn’t want this man or
whatever his email had to offer, I just wanted to show it to my love. And I did.
I
know there have been a couple of people who have been “looking for” me recently. The internet is pretty awesome these days, in
that it will tell you who has been doing what in regards to your social
pages. I’m quite appreciative of that,
because it gave me the opportunity to block the individuals I needed to from a
couple of different sites.
Unfortunately, there’s no way to block someone from looking up your
blog. So instead, I have written an open
letter. It’s written with two people in
mind, but if you think for a second that this letter is directed toward you… go
ahead and assume you’re right.
The letter:
I am happy. For the first time in nearly two years, I am truly happy. I am in love with a wonderful man, and you don’t touch him. Not even a little bit. I don’t lay awake at night daydreaming of
you. I don’t wonder what you’re doing,
or if you miss me. And I don’t miss you.
That may come
off as heartless, and to one person in particular… you kind of deserve it (Seriously,
looking me up on LinkedIn right before your child's birth [Don’t flatter yourself
by thinking I was looking you up, too. I only
found out about that because I had to access your fb page to block it.]? What’s up with that?). To anyone else, I’m just being completely
candid.
Regardless of
the reason you want to look me up, please don’t. Please don’t try to email me, text me, call
me, or message me any other way. I don’t
want to hear from you. I love R. I adore
him, more than I have anyone else in my entire life. The depth, the sincerity, the passion that I feel
for him… it is completely unsurpassed by any other, and I pray daily that it
will only grow. I won’t give him up for
anything – or anyone. He is not a
consolation prize, and you are not “the one who got away”.
Anything you
send won’t be replied to. It will,
however, be shown to him. Please, just
leave me alone.
---
Anyone
else reading this can think what they want.
I don’t really care. I’ve learned
plenty of times and in plenty of ways that very few are ever going to judge you
fairly. Being that this is the internet, I don’t really expect anyone
to. And I’m totally fine with that. I just wanted to get that^ out in the open.
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