Not Nice... Authentic.

I am not a nice person.

That is not to say I don’t choose to act kindly toward others; I prefer it, actually.  Being a “nice person”, however, has landed me into more sticky situations than maybe I should have found myself in.

Now, in fairness, that could be because of my raise-induced interpretation of what a “nice person” is.  Allow me to paint the picture:

A nice person smiles at others.... even when she doesn’t want to, even when they give her the creeps.

A nice person offers to helps others freely.... even if they never help him, or disrespect the help he has given.

A nice person definitely helps when asked... even if the only reason they ever approach her is for a favor.

A nice person holds his tongue in anger.... even if that anger is righteous, well-deserved, and needs to be spoken.

A nice person holds back her feelings to spare the feelings of others.... even when they walk all over her, betray her confidences, or otherwise make it clear that her feelings are unimportant to them. 

A nice person doesn’t delete people from his social media... even if that person has used said social media against him.

A nice person doesn’t tell her Truth, her story.... if that Truth, that story, could possibly (even unintentionally) shed a negative light on anyone else.

I have been a nice person for far too long.  Little by little, as the years have passed and the backbone grown, I have made the transition from a “nice person”, to an authentic one.  What is the difference? Well, for me...

An authentic person smiles when they want, to whom they want, and about what they want.

An authentic person still offers to and agrees to help... while recognizing the difference of being approached for a favor, and being used. 

An authentic person does not allow themselves to be used.  An authentic person says “no” every time they want or need to.

An authentic person is slow to anger, yet willing to speak it when it is appropriate to do so. 

An authentic person is honest about their feelings, even if those feelings might make another uncomfortable.

An authentic person does not keep people in their circle who they know would cause them harm - whether out of self-preservation, the desire to get ahead somehow, or any other reason.

An authentic person is unapologetic about who they are.  When they choose to tell their story, their Truth, they do so honestly, and without shielding the very people who helped them write it.  

So no, I am not a nice person.

I am, however, an authentic one.