Happiness

Pure, unadulterated happiness.  That's what I felt tonight.  I was at rehearsal (oh, by the way, I tried out for a musical and made it.  I'm very excited, especially since I have a duet, as well as a few solo lines. :-)) and I was watching J play w/K from across the room.  He was helping her keep her balance as she walked around, and was always right there to catch her if she fell.  Several times he lifted her up and gave her plenty of kisses.  The whole thing was very sweet, and it absolutely melted my heart.  Just looking at them, I felt pure joy.

I am so happy with my life.  I get to spend every day (well, almost) with my gorgeous daughter, I have a full-time babysitting job which I get to bring K to (and I'm making almost as much as I would working a full time job and paying child care; in fact, I'm only making about $20 less a month than I would be), I am in a musical that I am REALLY enjoying, and I have a wonderful boyfriend who I am absolutely in love with.

To top it all off, I feel my Savior's love for me every day.  Despite my absolute imperfection and in spite of everything I've done, despite all of the mistakes I've made, make daily, and will yet make, I feel His love and for the first time in my life I don't feel like I'm not good enough: I simply accept that I'll never be good enough (none of us will!) and thank Him daily for His unconditional love and acceptance, and strive to make Him as proud as I can.

Six months ago I never would have dreamed I could be this happy.  Six months ago I was still struggling with choices, decisions, religions, family troubles... the works.  But today - for the past several months, actually - I can gladly say that I have been so blessed the past several months.  The Lord has turned my trials into experiences of learning and development and growth, and through them has given me many, many blessings. I am SO incredibly grateful to Him.  And so unbelievably happy.

I wish everyone out there the happiness I feel tonight.  I hope each and every one of you can come to understand the amazing, unconditional love our Savior, Jesus Christ, has for you.  No matter what's going on in your life, what has been done to you, what has been done by you, any family troubles or friend troubles you may have had or be having... it doesn't matter.  He loves you, and it is by and through Him alone that you can receive Eternal joy and happiness.  That fact in and of itself gives me such intense joy I can scarcely contain myself.  :-)  And I hope that, if you have not already discovered this for yourself, that you will so that you can feel the same joy I feel. :-)

Well, that's all I have to say.  :-) I think I'll go to bed.  I have a feeling I'll have very good dreams tonight. :-)