New Beginnings

New beginnings.  Two simple words with a world of meaning.  I'm not even sure I understand the entirety of it all, but I do know this: I'm taking mine.   

My life has been crazy hectic for as long as I can remember.  Though I suppose that would be normal, especially considering that I'm the oldest of nine children.  Some things have been amazing and wonderful.  Others have been traumatic and heartbreaking.  But each of them have defined who I am.  Up to this point, I am made up of moments, experiences, words spoken and memories saved.  Everything I have ever said, or done, or thought, makes up the person who looks back at me from the mirror.  And that can be a very good thing, if I let it.

But there's one thing I won't do, and that is let the negative experiences define where I go from here.  I stand at a crossing, my long journey pausing... I may not know where I go from here, but I know that I do it with faith in my Heavenly Father, in my Saviour, and in the Holy Spirit.  I know that the things I do, I do with not only my Lord in mind, but also my daughter.  My path is not mine alone anymore, and I am so happy for that.  Yet, despite my joy, it puts a responsibility on my shoulders that I cannot ignore.  So I suppose it's a good thing that I don't want to.

From here on out I am unapologetic about who I am.  I will do things only when I am sure that it is what I want, and then I will not be ashamed of it.  Who I am will not be determined by the things others want, or what those around me think is best.  What I do will only be influenced by the feelings I receive from the Holy Spirit.  And if anyone has a problem with that, well I suppose that's too bad.

I guess now's the time that I find out who will always have my back.  I'll never ask anyone to prove their devotion to me, but if I have it, wonderful.  Nevertheless, that won't change my devotion toward the ones I love.  It never has before, so why would it now?  Things may be rough, but it's only in the toughest times that you discover your true friends and family.

So here I go.  Taking my first steps into the unknown, and holding tightly to the faith that I have in Father in Heaven.  I'm claiming my new beginnings.