Humility is certainly a hard pill to swallow. :-/
Unfortunately – or fortunately, maybe? – I got a rather large dose of it this
afternoon.
I was venting to a close friend of mine about how frustrated I am seeing X’s Facebook posts about going to the Mormon Temple soon, and saying he’s “almost that same” (or something to that effect) as he was before the split, when I know for a fact the things he’s done and that he is indeed very different than he was before. It was hard for me to see that, because I felt like it was a personal attack. But let’s be honest here… it’s not.
As I was talking with this friend I started saying that I really shouldn’t be behaving that way, because I know that X’s posts aren’t a personal attack against me. She let me know that it’s okay to vent, but then shed some light on the situation which I had been too blinded by indignation to see myself… she said, “I understand, but weren’t you doing something similar by posting your professions of love for X on fb while having an affair w/S? (Not to be harsh, just to help you cool down.)”
To say I felt humble after that would be a bit of an understatement. She was very, very right. I have absolutely no room, whatsoever, to judge X’s actions. I did what I felt I needed to do because I was ashamed. He is doing similar – if not the exact same – things. So who am I to declare – even in my own head – that he is wrong for doing so when I did the same thing myself?? Humble pie isn’t always the most delightful thing, but sometimes it is exactly what we need.
To say I’m ashamed of how I felt about X’s posts does my thoughts and feelings no justice. I feel very small, actually, knowing that he is hurting and I am very much the cause of that pain, and yet I was judging him and the words he said outwardly to others (not even to me!). If that is what he feels he must do, then good for him. I wish him the best. And I pray that, if I start getting too “big for my britches” about such things again, that the Lord will again send me such a great friend as he did today to help me see things in a clearer light.
I was venting to a close friend of mine about how frustrated I am seeing X’s Facebook posts about going to the Mormon Temple soon, and saying he’s “almost that same” (or something to that effect) as he was before the split, when I know for a fact the things he’s done and that he is indeed very different than he was before. It was hard for me to see that, because I felt like it was a personal attack. But let’s be honest here… it’s not.
As I was talking with this friend I started saying that I really shouldn’t be behaving that way, because I know that X’s posts aren’t a personal attack against me. She let me know that it’s okay to vent, but then shed some light on the situation which I had been too blinded by indignation to see myself… she said, “I understand, but weren’t you doing something similar by posting your professions of love for X on fb while having an affair w/S? (Not to be harsh, just to help you cool down.)”
To say I felt humble after that would be a bit of an understatement. She was very, very right. I have absolutely no room, whatsoever, to judge X’s actions. I did what I felt I needed to do because I was ashamed. He is doing similar – if not the exact same – things. So who am I to declare – even in my own head – that he is wrong for doing so when I did the same thing myself?? Humble pie isn’t always the most delightful thing, but sometimes it is exactly what we need.
To say I’m ashamed of how I felt about X’s posts does my thoughts and feelings no justice. I feel very small, actually, knowing that he is hurting and I am very much the cause of that pain, and yet I was judging him and the words he said outwardly to others (not even to me!). If that is what he feels he must do, then good for him. I wish him the best. And I pray that, if I start getting too “big for my britches” about such things again, that the Lord will again send me such a great friend as he did today to help me see things in a clearer light.
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